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Too much Dust

by KMAT

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1.
Fieldtrip 03:10
Staring in the grey, staring thru everything. A hypnotizing field. Wet wood smells good skin myself, weak legs. Avoid my home. Messed up. A final thought comes clean from inside. Still want to play music. Keep sitting on that bench, fuck my phone. Fade out in the grass. No I won´t numb my brain, decide to ride my bike. Entering the station took the train at 11 o´ clock. Stuck for days, almost screwed it up for us. Cold rain in the face. Increase the space inbetween. Here I took the same rails back home again. Thought you appear, this is called fall. Someone else is shooting dope in the afternoon. Life is strange, I don´t judge, lock eyes with you. Hope you do not get caught. In this mood again, this shit happend before. Slightly lingers another break up.
2.
Purposes 05:02
How long can I, how long can I ? Forshadow in the supermarket, in the celler in the park. Excited in presence of the end. Do this can in a second in a backyard with some old friends, broke thru, fuck the authorities. At least broke thru the isolation. Piles of leaves seem eerie. Foliage everywhere. On a walk, could have asked but kept in motion. Daydream I do. Those lights are essential to build a shelter, a fortress. Let´s go to the pen. I´m going to get piss-drunk tonight. The gas-station shines bright. Clusters people like bugs. But they shut it down! Wanna get piss-drunk tonight but i share my beer. Junkie you are so kind (Puking and leaving, smoking not snorting). Leaving you, wet eyes.
3.
Peripherie 04:06
Distress-Signal from the ground, overwhelmed, tasting a bit of blood. You don´t go, I don´t go. Kept on pedaling, leant against your weight, swallow to much smoke. I don´t get it at all, think you felt the same. To drunk to, puke cause I´m acting tough. Two fingers on a ball sack, dumb fun. Should have left earlier. First light won´t wake me. Do I belong here at all? Missed out the kiss I sorely miss. Estranged. Typing in some honest words, smart words, cause I had enough time. But it seems that I´m to scared to make new friends. Maybe a fiddler, glorifying erased events. Simulating closeness revealing a history of Fuck up´s. Fucked up, doubt this way. Pass me another beer can. Nevermind, I´m thirsty right now. Fucked up, Nevermind. Pass me another beer can. I´m thirsty right now, may fiddeling.
4.
I once bumped into this hand-model, she also could have been a foot-model, and sometimes I wish I could be there again. We were on the same page and during our walks through the trundra, I showed her my collections. And she could fight too. I thought her boyfriend was mad stupid, because he was and maybe I had al little crush on her. Once he tried to beat me up in private and I guess I deserved it. I never told her and the next day, I acompanied her to an important job-interview. I wear my softest pants during the coldest times. Woke up from a bad dream, started in a confusiong life. Solved a problem by ignoring it - anyhow - On more coffee so I might live life faster. A long distance bed, so we can hang out again. Everythingelse must wait. And let´s just don´t talk destiny. When I searched my feelings for the first time I was still a kind, wraped in the past. Getting pocket-money so, would I feel saver? We both were quiet. Until you bought me ice-cream. That´s the moment when you dumped me. Those lighthearted summer-days were so great, years before the perfect trip. Things could be so boring in our villages. I remember your hands warm and big and you said that. Some moments ereased, a few years to depressed to. It´s always infinate until it´s not.

about

One long year later I can put this stuff away. Can not even play this anymore, don´t want to neither. Hope you enjoy it!
Kussen, KMAT.

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released April 12, 2022

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KMAT Munich, Germany

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